Katie_the_Spaztastic's Xanga

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 23:32:18 GMT

Someone told me a while ago to update my xanga. I told them I use livejournal pretty much exclusively now, but, oh well.

Here, update. Song lyrics. If you know what's been on my mind the last few weeks, then you know the reason for this certain kind of song. :3 Let's just say, things have become infinitely better compared to August and September. :]

"Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat

V1: I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

C: It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V2: The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under covers stayin dry and warm
you give me feelings that I adore

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

B: What am I gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmm

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V3: I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

C: It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever you go, I'll always know
Cause you make me smile here, just for a while

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 20:44:26 GMT

A change of pace for this journal.

*steals survey from christy's xanga*

RELATi0NSHiPS
Bold all that apply.

RELATi0NSHiP WiTH MYSELF

I am definitely not perfect, but I accept that.

I've worked hard at becoming the person I am.

I like the person I am. (most of the time)

I do have a few problems with myself.

I think I'm beautiful.

I think I'm all right.

I think I'm ugly.

I think I have a great personality.

Personally, I find myself annoying.

I always find myself saying negative things about myself.

I have said that I think I'm 'too fat' before.

I try to be positive about myself.

I figure that the only way anyone else will ever love me, is if I love myself first.

I take good care of myself, on the outside and inside.

I feel that there's a lot of pressure placed on me to be 'perfect' but I try not to let it get to me.

I'm just trying the best I can.

RELATi0NSHiPS WiTH MY FRiENDS

My friends are seriously amazing.

I don't know what I'd do without them.

One or more of my friends have stabbed me in the back.

I forgave them.

However, there are a few I didn't forgive.

I have one best friend.

I have several best friends.

I've had a friend steal my crush/boyfriend.

I stopped being friends with her because of it.

I have at least 1 friend I tell everything to.

I have more guy friends than girl friends.

Guy friends are definitely less dramatic.

I have at least 1 guy friend I can go to receive an honest opinion/advice from.

I love going anywhere with my friends.

My friends and I are crazy together. (emphasize CRAZAY.)

Most of my friends have the same clothes & music taste as me.

I love my friends.

RELATi0NSHiPS WiTH MY FAMiLY

My family can be annoying at times, but I still love them.

My parents are divorced and it can be difficult not having them both around sometimes.

I have been fighting with my parents lately.

I can tell my mother anything.

I'm a daddy's girl.

Holiday dinners with my family usually promote fights.

Actually, my family's holiday dinners are pretty pleasant and fun.I like my cousins.

My parents are pretty easy-going.

I live with my parents.

My parents have embarrassed me in front of my friends.

Actually, they embarrass me on many occasions.

But I guess that's normal.

My parents give me an allowance.

I have a sibling.

I have a pet.

RELATi0NSHiP WiTH MY B0YFRiEND [Skip to next category if you don't have one]

Our relationship has lasted longer than 6 months so far.

We have said 'I love you' to each other.

He's done something romantic for me.

We go out together at least once each week.

I can tell him anything.

He asked me to be his girlfriend.

I asked him to be my boyfriend.

We talk on the phone with each other at least once a day.

He is nothing short of amazing.

We have broken up and gotten back together.

Our relationship is healthy.

He's bought me something really expensive.

We have grown a lot as a couple, over the good and bad experiences.

I think he's a little controlling at times.

I think I may break up with him soon.

I think we're soul mates.

RELATi0NSHiP WiTH MY CRUSH [Skip if you did the 'Boyfriend' category]

I have a crush.

I think about him a lot.

He has no idea I exist.

We have some classes together.

I think he likes me too.

We flirt with each other a lot.

I think I may tell him I like him.

I stare at him during class / in the hallways.

I am guilty of scribbling his name in one of my notebooks.

I guess you could say, 'I admire him from afar.'

There's no chance we'll ever be together.

If he wants to be with me, he's going to have to make the first move.

He seems like potential boyfriend material.

I've told my friends that I like him.

I talk about him a lot.

When I'm around him, I get really nervous

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 15:04:49 GMT

I miss people.

Since school started, I haven't much time or chance to talk and hang out with my usual group of friends.

I've been hanging out with a few new people, or getting to know some others better than I did before, and that's nice... but I still miss everyone else.

I've felt pretty alone since school started... And I know, people are gonna read this and go, OH KATIE! We're there for you! It's all okay!! ... But... idk. I really miss a few certain people that I could talk to about anything...

The summer was so nice... summers have a tendency of being that way. In the summer, I'd spend every other day with a friend, or we'd talk online in the evenings on into the middle of the morning. That was nice. That was really nice. I absolutely loved that.

Yesterday was nice, too. Spent the afternoon with Martina, got to talk about certain things with her, and then we had a silly fun time watching Superbad and meeting random people at Toys R Us and B&N. A day without thinking, a day without work, a day without stress (well, there was awkward stress for me :P Meeting new people always feels awkward, but luckily Martina did most of the talking.)... but yeah. A day of no progress, a day only for enjoyment and being silly. I live for those days.

Back to reality...

I'm not quite as sad a couple of weeks ago, but... I just feel really lonely.

I am happy about certain people, though. ^_^ Everytime I think of the two of them, I go SQUEE. :]

I think about a couple of other people, and I go *sigh*. -.-

Then I think about two other guys, and I go... @_@ ACK. *CONFUSED* -_- But that's another thing. >_o For another post. Maybe. I don't think I'm ready to divulge much on that thought for now. >.>;;

Gah.

If the world didn't suck, we'd all float off into space.

... true. But space might be a nice place and a nice change of scenery for while. I'm willing to give it a try.

I just don't know. History says that I'm usually mopey for the first semester of school. I have good excuses for being mopey, though! ... I say that, but I really should be trying to move on from those things. But... gah. I just can't help it.

Things can only get better.

Right?

-.-

Moo.

"When Did Your Heart Go Missing?" by Rooney

Love don't come so easily
This doesn't have to end in tragedy
I have you and you have me
We're one and a million
Why can't you see?

I'm waitin', waitin' for nothin'
You're leavin', leavin' me hangin'
When did your heart go missin'?
When did your heart go missin'?
I treat you like a princess
But your life is just one big mess
When did your heart go missin'?
When did your heart go missin'?

I meant every word I said
I never was lyin' when we talked in bed
I'm retracin' every step in my head
What did I miss back then?
I was so, so misled

I'm waitin', waitin' for nothin'
You're leavin', leavin' me hangin'
When did your heart go missin'?
When did your heart go missin'?
I treat you like a princess
But your life is just one big mess
When did your heart go missin'?
When did your heart go missin'?

I don't understand
How could you forget what we had?
It's so wrong

I'm waitin', waitin' for nothin'
You're leavin', leavin' me hangin'
When did your heart go missin'?
When did your heart go missin'?
I treat you like a princess
But your life is just one big mess
When did your heart go missin'?
When did your heart go missin'?

Things were so good
We had a little dream, a little dream together
Buy a house, settle down, do our thing
But you disappeared on me
And your heart, your heart went missin'
I don't know how to find it
I don't know where it is
I don't know where your heart went
It was here just the other day
Now it's gone
I'm gonna call the police
Call the investigator, the heart investigator

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 01:42:36 GMT

I didn't realize how many songs on my iPod related to my recent mindset. This one's pretty much dead on. May have posted before.

"Hotel Paper" by Michelle Branch

I write mostly on hotel paper
Knowing that my thoughts will never leave this room
I'd be out of line telling you to leave her
So I lie lonely surrounded by you

Lately I can't be happy for no one
They think I need some time to myself
I try to smile but I can't remember
And I know tomorrow there'll be nothing else

And I wanted to be giving you everything that she's not giving
And I wanted to see
'Cause I didn't believe what i'd been hearing

You turned out to be more than I bargained for
And I can tell that you need to get away
Forgive me if I admit that I'd love to love you
We both realized it way too late

And I wanted to be
Giving you everything that she's not giving
And I wanted to see
'Cause I didn't believe what I'd been hearing

Maybe this wind blowing in just came from the ocean

I write mostly on hotel paper

Monday, August 27, 2007

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:02:08 GMT

^_^

Faux smile? You betcha.

"Rinse" by Vanessa Carlton

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

She must rinse this all away
she can't hold him this way
she must rinse this all away
she can't love him this way

How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
she needs to be held in his arms to be free
but everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man

She must rinse this all away
she can't hold anybody this way
she must rinse this all away
she can't love him ...

And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed
what could be then worse than leaving something behind
and as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow
it's loneliness she finds...
if only he was mine...

She'd do anything to spakle in his eye
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

She must rinse him
she must rinse him
she can't rinse him
she can't rinse him
she can't, she won't, she must rinse him
she can't, she won't, she must rinse him
she must rinse this all away
she can't hold him this way
she must rinse this all away
she can't love him this way

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 08:07:39 GMT

ok so...

xanga shall now forever be my blog for bitterness. -.- Mmmk? Mmmk. You have the choice to read, or not to read. Moo.

Have you ever really HATED someone? I thought I had.

But no. Not before. Now I do.

I was just thinking about someone tonight and I came to the realization that I absolutely loathe them. I found people annoying in the past, and thought I hated them, but no no no... that was nothing. Starting now, I'm redefining my definition of the word hate, and I'm gonna try not to throw it around so easily. Because I know what it is to hate now.

Now this post sounds... dramatic. >.>;; Idk. Moo. Maybe I don't thoroughly hate this person so much. GAH. Well, at the moment I do. -.- whatever. MOO.

I don't even personally KNOW this person. I mean, we've met before, and we've probaby exchanged like two words, but.... I dislike them with as much passion as I can muster.

Why am I typing this up. IDK. -.- To arouse people's interest? Everyone wants to know if its them I'm talking about. :P No, trust me. If you're reading this, then chances are EXTREMELY high that you are not the person. Mmk? ^_^

HATE.

-.- Maybe I'll confide to someone who it is and why someday. but moo. not online for the world to see, no no no.

What's worse? A secret hate or an I-hate-you-to-your-face hate? Hmm.

Hate is typically bad. But So far? nothing to change my mind yet.

I'm going to bed. Rawr. -.- I never know what I'm saying anymore. Ack.

KATIE. STOP BEING SUCH A HORRIBLE BITTER PERSON. PEOPLE MIGHT ACTUALLY LIKE YOU THEN. -_-

moo.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 05:30:43 GMT

Katie's trail of pity-party-posts continues from her lj now to teh xanga...

-_-;;

I'm just a scoop of Softserve ice cream looking for her Waffle cone.

I'll be the syrup to your waffles.

The Pam to your Jim. (=Jam. ... Which could also work on waffles. scandalous!)

Rawr.

Just some thoughts. Today's the Lucky Love day, right? Hm. -.- Horoscope from Yahoo.com:

[Gemini

You and the adventurous lover you've attracted will enjoy this perfect day, and you'll both truly benefit from this exhilarating partnership. Good communication has really paid off, and all the love, joy and happiness you've always wanted are yours this lucky-seven day. It's the perfect time to communicate your love for one another in a new and lasting way. Being in tune with each other and feeling connected will make this an unforgettable day!]

Adventurous lover I've attracted? What, is he hiding somewhere?! *looks around* >.>!

Just some thoughts! kthxbye.

And a song. Why not. Hm. Did I post this already? I do that a lot. -.- W/E.

"At Seventeen" by Tara MacLean

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth...

And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say "come dance with me"
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems at seventeen...

A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said: "Pity please the ones who serve,
They only get what they deserve"
The rich relationed hometown queen
Marries into what she needs
With a guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly...

So remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
In debitures of quality and dubious integrity
Their small-town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received at seventeen...

To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
the world was younger than today
and dreams were all they gave for free
to ugly duckling girls like me...

We all play the game, and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say: "Come on, dance with me"
And they murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me, at seventeen...

Katie will make herself not be so emo tm. Erm, today. (ish 2:23 am. whatever.) *nods* Promise.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 15:58:56 GMT

My xanga is slowly dying... o.o;; Oops.

Oh well.

Btw, check mah livejournal for posts about my New York City trip.

Anyway, I wanted to share with everyone one of the greatest commercials EVER. Srsly. I've seen it dozens of times before, but I'm finally putting a link up here. Gawd, I love it. -.- The woman... the SCREAM... *___* Smex, indeed. Enjoy.

(The only version I could find on youtube, oh well. It'll do. *nods*)

^___^!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 04:23:51 GMT

Hm.. Nothing to post about. Lyric time!

"Things I'll Never Say"- Avril Lavigne

I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My checks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head

Cause I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it
Yeah

If I could say what I want to say
I’d say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

It don’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What’s on my mind
If it ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

Cause I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it
Yeah

If I could say what I want to say
I’d say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

What’s wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I’ve got nothing to say

Cause I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it
Yeah

Yes I’m wishing my life away with these things I’ll never say

If I could say what I want to say
I’d say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say
These things I’ll never say

"Swimming forever in my head..."

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:57:50 GMT

(First off, I have a run-down of the past two weeks in a post on my livejournal... moo.)

So my mind's been preoccupied as of late. *sigh* Oh, Waffles.Yes, another post about the infamous Waffles!

Ok, well, moo. >_> Every day, no matter what I'm doing, my thoughts always revert back to Waffles! Today, for example. My dad and I went to see POTC 3 (for me, again; for him, the first time). Now, I did pay attention to the movie because it is so awesome like that, but every now and then, I would think to myself, "hm! This movie would be better if I had Waffles here with me." And yesterday, I spent the whole day watching dvds and playing video games, and I had the exact same thoughts.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I have thoughts on Waffles, and I have hopes about Waffles, but... I mean, sometimes I think, yes, of course! This has to be it! But other times, I'm not so sure. *sigh*

I'm a very dependent person, I've come to realize. A lot of my friends are so independent, and are capable and successful by themselves, but I'm nothing without anyone else. I really admire that independence, since it's never been something I've been able to master.

Is being so dependent on others a bad thing? I mean, always? In every possible case? It'll lead to my inevitable downfall one day, I'm sure, but... is it so bad to rely on others? You can't go through life completely by yourself... That's a sad and lonely way to live, or to look at life. *sigh*

Back to Waffles.

It's frightening to be so dependent on others, but even more so is my dependence on Waffles. I can't seem to do anything without thinking of them.

*sigh*

I just don't know what to do. I mean, I know what I probably should do, but hell if I can try THAT again. -_-;; If I do try again, I know how not to do it I guess. And I'm probably not making much sense to the reader of this, am I?

Oh, nevermind me. I'm just thinking while typing. .. .Typing out loud? No, that's not quite the phrase. Eh, you get what I mean. .. .Or do you? ... Hell, is anyone even reading this?

GAH.

Oh world, oh life; you silly things, you.

Oh, Waffles. -///-;;;

Uhm. Have a spaztastic day. >.>;;

"Radio" by The Corrs

It’s late at night, and I’m feeling down...
There are couples standing on the street
Sharing summer kisses and city sounds...

So I step inside, pour a glass of wine.
With a full glass and an empty heart,
I search for something to occupy my mind...

But you are in my head, swimming forever in my head,
Tangled in my dreams, swimming forever...

So I listen to the radio
All the songs we used to know
So I listen to the radio
Remember where we used to go

Now its morning light, and it's cold outside,
Caught up in a distant dream I turn
And think that you are by my side...

So I leave my bed, and I try to dress,
Wondering why my mind plays tricks
And fools me into thinking you are there

But you're still in my head,
Swimming forever in my head,
Not lying in my bed, just swimming forever...

So I listen to the radio
And all the songs we used to know
So I listen to the radio
Remember where we used to go
So I listen to the radio
And all the songs we used to know
So I listen to the radio
Remember where we used to go

You are in my head, swimming forever...

So I listen to the radio
All the songs we used to know
So I listen to the radio
Remember where we used to go
I listen to the radio
All the songs we used to know
I listen to the radio